Thursday, March 31, 2011

Lawak Medik

Hari yang sungguh membosankan + sunyi. Rasa macam nak marah orang aja.
Tapi nak try jadi cool. Tarik nafas dalam-dalam...fuhhhhhhh....
Ok then grab my book. Nak hilang kan stress dengan membaca.
 Situasi cam sekarang ni bagus sangat kalau baca something yang dapat buatkan kita bergelak.
 So ambil buku tittle " Just Joking With Medics " by Suzee Leong
 Sebenarnya dah khatam pun buku ni tapi nak jugak baca lagi sebab best and memang funny sangat.
 So nak share lah sikit antara kisah dalam buku ni. 
 Enjoy it! I'll makes u laugh your lung out!

Lighting Up
" You've got to give up smoking immediately, " said the doctor to his patient. " When you feel like having a cigarette, try having a bar of chocolate instead. "
     Two weeks later, the patient was back.
     " How's it going?" asked the doctor.
     " Badly, " he said. " I can't get those bars of chocolate light up." 

No Wish To Alarm
Doctor : What seems to be the problem?
Patient : I swallowed a clock last week.
Doctor : Good grief! Why didn't you come earlier to see me? 
patient : I didn't want to alarm anyone.

Doctor : stick your tongue out and say 'Ahhh!'
Patient : Ahhh!
Doctor : Well, your tongue looks all right but why the postage stamp?
Patient : So that's where I left it!
Second Best
A lady with a pain in her side went to see a doctor. After she was told she had appendicitis and must have an operation, she decided to get a second opinion.
    When the second doctor told her she had heart trouble, she replied, " I'm going back to the first doctor. I'd rather have appendicitis. "

Shaking Hands
Patient : Doctor, my hands won't stop shaking.
Doctor : Tell me, do you drink a lot of water?
Patient : No, I spill most of it.

Take a Walk
Doctor : You should take a walk every morning on an empty stomach. 
Patient : Whose?

Three Tablespoonfuls
Doctor : Take three tablespoonfuls of this medicine a day.
Patient : Oh dear, I'll have to borrow another tablespoon. I've only 2 at home.

Ironing Twice 
Doctor : How did you get such third degree burns on both ears?
Patient : I was ironing when the phone rang, and I picked up the iron instead of the phone.
Doctor : Well, how did the other ear get burned?
Patient : They called back!

Doctor : I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumour. 
Mr Bean : Yessss!! (jumps with joy)
Doctor : Did you understand what I just told you?
Mr Bean : Yes, of course. Do you think I'm dumb?
Doctor : Then why are you so happy?
Mr Bean : Because that proves that I have a brain!

Screwdriver, Hammer and Chisel
A doctor came to a house to examine a very sick boy. After a while, he came out of the boy's room and asked the boy's father for a screwdriver. The father did this and the doctor went back to the room. 
  A little while later, the doctor came out and asked for a hammer. The father fetched a hammer and the doctor returned to the room. A few minutes later, he was out again asking for a chisel.
  " Good heavens, " exclaimed the father, " what's the matter with my son?" 
        " I don't know yet, " said the doctor. " Wait till I get to open my medicine bag first! "

Wheelchair Regulation
The hospital regulations required a wheelchair for patients being discharged. A student nurse found an elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet. He insisted that he didn't need any help to leave the hospital.
    After the nurse explained about rules being rules, he reluctantly let her wheel him to the elevator. 
   On the way down, the nurse asked, " Is your wife meeting you down there? "
   " I don't know, " he said. " She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown. "

Powerful Pill
A man complained to a doctor that his wife has lost interest in having sex with him. He pleaded with the doctor for help and the doctor finally gave him some tablets. 
    " Put one of these in her drink before going to bed, " he said. " But make sure it's only one, they're powerful. "
    " The man returned home and that night he dropped a pill into his wife's cocoa. He added a second one for ' good luck ', then felt worried over the doctor's warning of using ' only one '. To ease his conscience, he decided to put one in his cocoa as well. 
    A little while later, they retired to bed. As the pill began to work, then the wife turned to him and said, " Ooh, I need a man! " 
    " Me too! " replied the husband.

p/s : haha, funny kan? buku ni ada banyak lagi cerita yang kelakar tahap dewa tapi perlu fikir dulu sbelum dapat ketawa. Thumbs up!



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